Tag: Your Humor Source
-
Weird Asks
During college I had a work-study job as a stage manager for the CU College of Music. When outside performers came in, I took care of them in the “green room.” Esteemed artists had requests, such as a six pack of Fresca with a plate of sliced limes. Occasionally, it became one of those very-specific…
-
Reverse Life Hacks
Your Guide to Problematic, Inefficient LivingSo, you have a free Saturday to knock things out. Or perhaps it’s Monday and you are in the work-from-home crowd. Either way, there is much to be done in your digs. Allow me to help: Don’t check your calendar. Or check it but look at the wrong day and go from there. Put on…
-
Post-Season Campground Host Interview
Interviewer: Edith, thanks for taking the time to meet today. It sure would’ve been easier by phone, or when I stopped by the campsite in the summer, but I’m glad I tracked you two down here in your Arizona digs. Edith: Welcome off the grid, son. Hope you get what you need for your blog…
-
Birthday Musings
Two days ago, I completed my 55th trip around the Sun, with a little help from the Earth doing its orbit thing. My wife Carrie remembers her dad reaching 55, announcing “I am now the speed limit!” I mentioned this to my sister, who remembered our dad saying something similar. So that’s been an easy…
-
Talk of Stronger Oversight in the Cornhole World
Judges ruled that the violations were unintentional, resuming the cornhole competition with its $15,000 cash prize after a one-hour delay. I might have questioned Devon Harbaugh’s complaint that rival opponents Lopez and Richards’ bags were too small, but ESPN’s cornhole color commentator agreed, “anticipating some drama.” And I would have been surprised by Lopez and…
-
Staff Meeting
Flora: Time to meet, comrades. Gather ‘round. Rover: Here! Here! Me on time, see me punctuate! Flora: Calm down. And it’s “punctual.” Where is Mittens? Rover: Yoo hoo!! Little Mitts?! You-you gonna be late! Mittens [sauntering in]: Apologies, oh bright one. Some of us spend time cleaning ourselves. Flora: Alright, all present. Let’s get to…
-
Numerals BY THE NUMBERS
[Successive pairing special] 0 As lonely as one. 1 Pairs in a two. 2 Humps on a three. 3 Strokes for birdie on par four hole. 4 Digits not called “thumb” of five on normal hand. 5 Looks like six when resting lazily against short wall. 6 Number of sevens on popular Boeing plane (printed…
-
Punishing a Cross-Country Runner
“Our sport is your sport’s punishment” has been boasted on many a cross-country teams’ shirts—printed on the warm-up tee (only making a meaningful statement when worn in the halls). It’s essentially true, though, as football coaches bark out “Gotta catch those, kid—take a lap!” and in basketball, “Hands up on D—give me a ladder!” So,…