Positive, Encouraging Lyrics, by You! – Your Humor Source

Positive, Encouraging Lyrics, by You!

Think you need to move to Nashville to make it as a songwriter? Or perhaps you are in Nashville but it’s not working out so great….

We’re here to proclaim that you’ve been trying too hard. Instead of wearying your creative brain, drink from the well of our groundbreaking technology: the Contemporary Christian Lyric Generator. That’s right, ConchLyghtTM promises your success! So, claim that promise!

Here’s what ConchLyght can do for you:

Our randomizing metaphor tool picks for you! Here is a small sampling of what might come up for your inspiring go-to phrases:

              Anchor in the Storm
              Victory in the Battle
              Breaking the Chains
              Light in the Darkness
              Fill this Vessel

Next, ConchLyght provides righteous rhymes to carry that trusty metaphor. Some examples:

              Through the waves / My God, He saves
              I know it’s war / It’s what I’m fighting for
              The chains will break / For Jesus’ sake
              I couldn’t see / Till He set me free
              Fill me up / To pour You out / Not just a cup / Overflowing spout

Now, you may be wondering: what happens when rhymes and catch-phrases have run their course, and you need another line or two? Well, our app can also help with mixed metaphors. What seems at first like a little confusion turns out to be a powerful surprise…like a meteor earthquake! We can’t show all these proprietary gems, but will offer here one example of the problem solved, to help you see that ConchLyght reigns over all other songwriting apps:

              Break the stormy rains / Calm those crashing chains

Awesome, right? It sure is, but not as awesome as God, who reigns over the whole app store!

Consider a few other features:

The repeater. When ConchLyght has generated a particularly powerful verse or bridge for you, we won’t let it go to waste. We’ll make sure it repeats in your song, maybe even a third time! Because verses and bridges are the new choruses!

The generalizer (a.k.a. the palatablizer). Should you find yourself compelled to include a very specific biblical event such as Daniel standing up to the king, or a profound concept such as atonement, we can help you there as well. After you submit your idea, ConchLyght will be sure to generalize it or omit it altogether while still making use of related words (if they rhyme). The same applies if you want to write about a particular experience in your life. ConchLyght will optimize words to transform that unique event into something palatable and vague, proven to draw maximum airplay:

              missed mortgage payment replaced with burden
              pancreatic cancer replaced with suffering
              guilt for leaving you replaced with burden
              or burdensome suffering (if the syllables are needed)

If you are one of many that struggles with God’s sluggish action on His own terms, ConchLyght is your vessel to ensure that, when enough people sing along, you’ll persuade God to do something that He possibly wasn’t planning to do at all! Consider two examples that ConchLyght could generate for you toward coaxing the Big Guy:

              …I’m gonna sing down a miracle…
              It’s a promise I made / You’d move when I prayed

There are more lyric-generation algorithms in ConchLyght than we could even mention in ten thousand years, but let’s shine the light on one more feature so you can see it in all its glory: The hot topic chiller! Suppose you are itching to use your lyrics to speak out something about socioeconomic trappings, the effects of abortion, or how Christians should love homosexuals. ConchLyght will make sure to keep your hot topic from sizzling that listener right out of their comfort zone, using our proprietary ProblemChillTM algorithm add-on. And as a bonus effect, this also cuts out any pesky, vulnerable introspection. Some examples:

              Input: Hiding my junkyard TV / The social worker can’t never see…
              Modified to: God loves us all
              Input: …strangled with guilt, coercion of youth…
              Modified to: …she needed an anchor in the storm…
              Input: Can’t see humankind / ‘Cause I’ve been “color blind”…
              Modified to: God loves us all

Everything the ProblemChillTM add-on pours out, well, it’s 100% true! (And only costs an additional $4.99 per month!)

Download ConchLyght-LiteTM today: The ConchLyghtTM app with most features enabled. No, you are not worthy—but receive our free gift! (Free to try, that is, for up to 14 days or until you upgrade to the full version). Go to your app store or simply Click Here now!

Copyright © 2023 Richard Berndt – All Rights Reserved.

One response to “Positive, Encouraging Lyrics, by You!”

  1. Too true to be funny… just kidding, seriously funny!

Leave a Reply

Blog at WordPress.com.