Congratulations to LeBron James for reaching and surpassing Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s all-time regular-season scoring record, previously 38,387 points. Despite this shout-out, my apologies in advance if you are either an NBA or NASCAR fan, as I didn’t include either sport in the following. It was enough already.
NFL
19355
Career rushing yards: Emmitt Smith (1990-2004)
23 (200)
Penalties (and penalty yardage against) by a team in one game: Oakland Raiders (2016)
23
Most points scored in a game without a touchdown: Minnesota Vikings (1989, seven field goals and a safety in overtime)
4
Largest lead over a divisional opponent in the second quarter of a primetime game in an indoor stadium by a team who ended up losing in overtime by a field goal.
NHL
2857
Career regular season points: Wayne Gretzky (1979-1999)
29
Most goals a goaltender has had scored against him by Wayne Gretzky: Richard Brodeur (1972-1988 career, 1979-1988 career with Gretzky around, regrettably)
2
Career goals by a goaltender: tie between Ron Hextall (1986-1999) and Martin Brodeur (1991-2015)
1
Most goals scored in the third period of a game by a player who is of a different nationality than his team franchise, and in which no brawls occurred in the previous two periods.
MLB
0.482
Highest on-base percentage1: Ted Williams (1939-1960)
80
Most games pitched with no wins: tie between Juan Alvarez and Ed Olwine. (May I say “Yikes!…Congratulations on making it to the majors?”)
287
Most times hit by a pitch: Hughie Jennings (1891-1918) (Way to take way more than one for the team, bro! Either that or this is explained by poor reaction time or professional masochism.)
2
Career home runs hit to the opposite field, batting left-handed, in the second game of a double-header, in which the player had a double in the first game, and that game had a rain delay.
WCF2
17
Championship Wins: Oskar Eriksson (2010 – 2022, still active)
105
(Hours) Longest game: A 10-person group from Ontario, Canada (2018, playing 392 ends in a “game” that is usually eight or ten ends. But to be fair, the suffering raised $4000 for better cardiac care in their area. That’s about 64 cents per stone “thrown.” Granted, this one isn’t a professional record, but it is in the Guinness Book of Records.)
47
(Feet) Farthest distance a broom head has been launched into the crowd after swinging the broom like a golf club: Ben Hebert (2007 Canadian Open)
5
Most number of consecutive ends in which the remaining yellow stones in play matched the pattern of a well-known constellation, and in which the winning team, as is customary, bought drinks for the losers.
FIFA
16
World Cup tournament goals scored: Miroslav Klose (2002, 2006, 2010, 2014)
4
Own goals3 scored by one country during Word Cup matches (1930, 1954, 1970, 2018)
8
The percentage of matches, surprisingly, ending in a 0-0 draw in regulation time. (No, not a “record,” but I had to point it out. It’s weirdly low because the mean score, and the score in which the majority of matches end, is 1-0.)
29
Most number of player “flops” in one game that did not garner a penalty call, of games that ended in a score other than 1-0.
1Major League Baseball statistics use the term “percentage” instead of the more accurate term “fraction,” or in the case of a mathematically weighted value, “score” or “rating.” Ted Williams’ 0.482 OBP would be super lame if it was truly a percentage (i.e., “by the hundred”). I once taught science and mathematics. That’s why I care, and that’s why you are having to read this. Yet now I’m sure you think it’s quite funny about those dummies.
2Look it up. Hint: The “C” is for “curling.”
3For a personal “own goal” memoir, you may want to read My Storied Sports History from June 14, 2022.
Copyright © 2023 Richard Berndt – All Rights Reserved.
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