Complimentary Breakfast

Welcome again to “Real Life Voyeur,” the award-winning program on the Life Happens Network where you can watch unsuspecting and likely unwilling participants navigate life in public places.

Last night, our crew meticulously mounted cameras for a secret HD view of Bestway Inn’s complimentary breakfast arena. I’m Jason “Jay” Walker, here with my colleague Thomas Finnegan, and we’re broadcasting from our mobile studio in the hotel’s exercise room, just down the hall.

Good to join you, again as always, Jay! We’ve got a super venue today because although Boise’s Bestway doesn’t call this spread “continental” anymore, it is nonetheless a world-travel-worthy offering of morning foodstuffs.

Tom, it’s a busy weekend in the “City of Trees” and we expect a lot of traffic. We pick up here at 8:00 a.m., in the lull after the rush of businesspersons and old folks that descended upon this fine room not long after the 6:00 a.m. opening. For recorded highlights of that action, you can login to LHN’s streaming service LifeHappened+ through our award-winning app. If you don’t have an account, just go to without logging in and you can enjoy the same content without us tracking your personal information—just don’t click on the ads, right, Tom?

You got it, Jay. Always willing here to give a few real-life hacks.

We start things off with two toddlers in socks trotting in, unsupervised. Your take, Tom?

This is not unprecedented. Their parents are surely exhausted, and I imagine those little ones simply made a quick elevator escape.

Yes, and it appears Dad and Mom have already caught up. They’ve noticed that their kids can’t reach the scorching waffle makers, so they’ve let them be for now and gone straight for the coffee.

The go-to move for sure, but I fear that Dad forgot his glasses, because he just pumped out of the DECAF labeled carafe. Gonna be a long morning!

Meanwhile, Mom was able to sling that rowdy girl onto her hip, grab the boy’s hand, pour her caffeinated cup, and then peel and add creamers with one hand. Obviously experienced in this…or perhaps motherhood skills just spill over to such situations. She’s already taken a few sips and scoped out a place to corner the offspring. And wow, Tom, she’s already back at the station loading pancakes and sausages!

On her polystyrene foam plate, viewers. A sturdy material for sure, yet she’s working with a surface that needs to be larger. But note, Jay, it’s as if Dad’s not even here mentally.

I agree. He’s waiting for the no-caf to kick in and hasn’t made any food acquisitions.

Others are straggling in, and the patron queue is now forming in various stages of clothing. Plenty of polite jockeying for position at these food stations. I’d say they are navigating quite well considering the morning daze. And it’s oh so silent in here, Jay.

Yes, Tom, it’s the Code. Protocols are being observed. But check this: Pajama Dude just took the last chocolate covered donut…

…I was just going to say! Note the disgusted face on Teen Girl as she moves on. Must not be his sister or he would have faced the wrath!

Tables are filling up, and folks, you can now hear chatter and murmurings, in contrast to the stoic silence still at the countertop.

Yes Jay, the Code. That’s a quiet and lonely 90-second countdown at the waffle station. But while waiting there, Lady CrossFit just noticed the small stash of Nutella cups and, from the look on her face, she just hit the jackpot!

Tom, we have a situation at biscuits-and-gravy. A Bestway team member is standing patiently…she’s carrying a freshly loaded tin of sausage gravy, but Flannel Man is unaware. He’s scraping out gravy chunks right in front of her.

I think her hot pads aren’t thick enough. Time is of the essence here. Say something, hostess!

She won’t, Tom: the Code in this room applies also to staff.

Uh-oh, Jay, it looks like he might back up into her! Noooo!…Ah, crisis averted—he shifted right over to muffins. Folks, she’s good now. He still has no clue what could’ve gone down. Awareness faux pas.

Looks now like everyone heard that gravy changeout clunk. Our heroic hostess has shaken off her burns, shoved those deficient hot pads through the WASTE flap, grabbed a carafe and is outta there. With a fresh offering of biscuits and gravy, things just got quiet again.

Not for long, Jay. Tractor Cap Guy just sat down, and folks, I’m sure you can now hear him loud and clear. I hope his skinny friend is up for his political rant at this hour.

Tom, that so-called “friend” is actually with Big Family, who overflowed onto a second table. He didn’t come with Tractor Cap!

Ouch! It appears Mom is now pretending she’s not with Skinny at all. Disowned him outright to steer clear of the conspiracy-theory monologue.

Understandable! Tom, I notice now at the creamer station that a small line has backed up as one hunched-over person is slowly picking through creamers, mining for that one flavor he hopes to find. The second awareness violation today, I fear.

Not ideal, but it’s not the type of thing we censor in this program. We are voyeuring live, viewers, and you get it all. And speaking of creamers, we must take a short commercial break, brought to you by our sponsor, Coffee Mate. Jay and I will be back with more in a minute!

– – – – –

You’re watching “Real Life Voyeur” here on the LHN. I’m Jay Walker, accompanied as always by my colleague Thomas Finnegan, and we return to today’s live coverage of Bestway’s continental—that is, complimentary breakfast, coming soon to a conclusion.

Jay, I’m seeing a lot of waffle waste today. You have a take on that?

Yes, I do! I noticed that with all the traffic today, Bestway hasn’t stocked enough whipped butter singles. In keeping with the Code, patrons are noticing this and taking fewer, but fewer than they really need.

Indeed. A four-section waffle requires about eight of those guys for proper coverage—lots of surface area in a waffle.

And Tom, even if there were enough fake butters loaded in that dispenser, that’s a lot of plastic-utensil scraping effort. I’ll admit, much too tedious for a lazy guy like myself. It’s always a tall order to follow-through on the perfect waffle, but guests get sucked in by the aroma and, of course, the participation factor. For most of these people, it’s the only time they’ll make a waffle!

True that, Jay, and given how difficult it was to force plates and waffle waste into those tiny bin openings, I’m impressed they tidied up. Keeping the Code.

Too bad Creamer Miner didn’t show the same respect. He has now finally settled on a French vanilla and moved on, well after the poor folks behind him had already given up! And he will miss out on the fare if he doesn’t pick up the pace…in fact, Scorched Hands has returned to gather up bananas and remove yogurts from the mini fridge, a sign that we are approaching ten o’clock…. Tom, it has been a pleasure covering today’s event with you—and helping our viewers to again be real-life voyeurs.

Back atcha, Jay. But before we go, one quick look at something we had both anticipated. If our camera operators would please zoom in on those new and disappointed faces—it looks as if the just-missed-it wave has arrived. Coffee only, slackers!

Catch us next Saturday at 10:00 a.m. Eastern time when Real Life Voyeur gives you a front row seat…at Walmart’s self-checkout!

[Heard in studio background as closing video snippets replay the day’s action:]

Does no one use this gym?

I don’t imagine so. It’s Idaho.

Wanna get brunch? I think the crew is headed to Golden Corral.

[long pause] Let’s give them their space.

Yeah, IHOP it is.

Copyright © 2022 Richard Berndt – All Rights Reserved.

Leave a Reply

Blog at

%d bloggers like this: